As Christians we study the Bible
to learn the character of the God we worship. We find that He is sovereign,
holy, eternal while simultaneously being tender, loving and good. Our entire purpose
and existence is to glorify this good God and enjoy Him forever not just now in
this world but for all eternity. These are the truths of Christianity that
we hold dear. As children we sing, "God is so good. God is so
good. God is so good. He's so good to me."
But, is God still good when your child dies?
The last year and a half of my
life has been excruciating as I watched my
precious baby boy come
into and leave this world after just eight months and three days.
So as a Christian I have been
forced to my knees in a new way of surrender. To surrender my child to death
has caused me to question even the deepest truths of my life and faith
including the goodness of God. It has
been near impossible to walk in the depths of despair and say words like the
ones of Psalm 106:1.
Say them
with me:
"Praise
the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is
everlasting."
Now let’s try saying them as
your child breathes his last breath. Or as your spouse walks out the door. Or
as the power is shut off. Or as you celebrate Christmas without your loved one.
Or as you are huddled in a corner in Aleppo with your terrified family. But, we
should say them at these most horrific times because these holy words are true.
I've doubted the goodness of God
in my situation and perhaps you have too. When everything in me screams that
there is no way God can be good, I must look to His Word and not let my faith
be swayed by my emotions or my circumstances. Knowing that God is good doesn't
diminish my pain or loss but it gives me firm, eternal ground to stand on. My
circumstance is not good. But, He is good.
This I know is true: God's
goodness is eternal. He was good when the people of Israel were enslaved. He
was good when Jesus was on the cross. He was good during World War II and the
Holocaust. He was good when my dad was at war in Vietnam and He is good today
as I sit in my home looking at my son's Christmas stocking without him.
We intentionally (though a
bit hesitantly) chose our Christmas card this year to remind ourselves that
the goodness of God is eternal and not circumstantial. We chose this card
because it is still true even in the year our son died.
This Christmas night I’m so thankful that God's goodness is forever. Somehow, in His sovereign will, He will work even the darkest, ugliest, most painful parts of our broken hearts into His good story of redemption alongside the story of the nativity. God doesn't explain Himself fully to us in this life but what we know dimly now, we will know fully when we see Him face to face in all His goodness.
