My amazing husband and I just celebrated three years of marriage on May 11th. Our Graham turned two in February and we lost our eight month old Hudson on March 20th to heart disease.
Corey took a job as a news helicopter pilot in Chicago. As of now we will be there with frequent trips home to North Carolina as we walk through deep grief. Those are the practical things of our life right now. Corey is mostly finished with intense training. I’ve mostly been in North Carolina planning Hudson’s special service and taking care of Graham. I am now finishing a much needed long weekend with friends in New York City (where I lived for many years). I got the special treat of going to a dear friend’s wedding. Congrats, Misty & Braden!
We still need to find housing in Chicago (just outside of Chicago, anyway). I’m headed there with our Grahambo this coming weekend.
But, that doesn’t really answer the “now what?” question for me. I am a task master. To do list maker.
Event planner. House organizer. I can do and fix and do some more.
But, again…that’s not what I am facing really.
It is the being.
How can I just be?
How can I just sit, be quiet, talk to God, listen, be still?
It hurts too much.
New York has been such a gift the last few days. Salve to a deep wound. I’ve walked many miles just crying and pretending I’m still an upper west (best) sider.
I miss my family. I’m ready to be back with them. Oh, do I miss my Huddy Buddy and wish this American Airlines flight could take a layover stop where you are so I could get many snuggles and kisses.
We best buddies.
So, now what?
One foot in front of the other with teary eyes and a broken heart.
PS Thanks to those special New Yorkers who made the trip possible.
Love y’all so much!
Corey took a job as a news helicopter pilot in Chicago. As of now we will be there with frequent trips home to North Carolina as we walk through deep grief. Those are the practical things of our life right now. Corey is mostly finished with intense training. I’ve mostly been in North Carolina planning Hudson’s special service and taking care of Graham. I am now finishing a much needed long weekend with friends in New York City (where I lived for many years). I got the special treat of going to a dear friend’s wedding. Congrats, Misty & Braden!
We still need to find housing in Chicago (just outside of Chicago, anyway). I’m headed there with our Grahambo this coming weekend.
But, that doesn’t really answer the “now what?” question for me. I am a task master. To do list maker.
Event planner. House organizer. I can do and fix and do some more.
But, again…that’s not what I am facing really.
It is the being.
How can I just be?
How can I just sit, be quiet, talk to God, listen, be still?
It hurts too much.
New York has been such a gift the last few days. Salve to a deep wound. I’ve walked many miles just crying and pretending I’m still an upper west (best) sider.
 |
| The Hudson |
I miss my family. I’m ready to be back with them. Oh, do I miss my Huddy Buddy and wish this American Airlines flight could take a layover stop where you are so I could get many snuggles and kisses.
We best buddies.
So, now what?
One foot in front of the other with teary eyes and a broken heart.
PS Thanks to those special New Yorkers who made the trip possible.
Love y’all so much!
